I Believe

I am convinced that NOTHING can separate me from the love of GOD! It has been a rough few days and although I fully expect the next few to be equally as rough I am finding comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone in my anxiety. I have a sweet friend who knows just when to show up or call. I have a husband who loves me no matter what I look like (poor guy) and I have a Saviour who knew that I would go through this very struggle. A gift was dropped in our mail box today, not something that could solve all our problems, but something to remind us that HE is in control and HE will provide for us, in many ways. He still does miracles! I am so grateful for this gift and the anonymous giver...I don't think they know how they did more than give a gift, but reminded me of how many times God has provided our needs and always does. In our own strength we can do nothing. I don't even want to try.
Right now I am praying that I can get my family through the holidays without feeling like they have been robbed of their traditions. But more importantly, we are praying for a miracle. My husband and I and a dear friend have agreed to pray for this and pray believing God for it in advance. It's so big; we are realizing how small our faith is. And He is stretching us...we know nothing is too hard for him...the question we have is "is it ok to ask for something big?" I think He is enjoying our attempts at this and the lessons we are learning in the process. Isn't this the whole reason for this season? Didn't He come to earth dressed like us so that we could have HOPE? Here is the thing about hope...Hope isn't what we would expect: it's not so much that God doesn't give us what we hope for as it is that we don't know the right thing for which to hope. Are we hoping for the wrong thing or is there more the thing we are hoping for than we know? Whatever it is...my decision is made.
I'm Believing God!
~cb

Am I getting Old?

How do we know when we are getting old? Is it just so gradual that one day we wake up and realize we are old? Or, is it an annoying painful process that leads to cenility? Or do we know we are old when our friends...who are younger than us...start peeing on their sweaters? Who knows?...Who knew?
-cb

Who's fault is it anyway?

We lose another battle and wonder why. We lose so many battles mentally before we even get to fight them spiritually. It's so unfair...whose fault is it...I'm so stupid...bitterness...and so on. Are you believing God? Are you worshiping God or yourself? Consider this...Even self-loathing is self-worship. Oh it's cleverly disguised as humility, BUT worship is focus and self-loathing takes the focus off of God and puts it on ourselves. While we focus on ourselves we are unable to focus on the battlefield.
Are you believing God when victory demands your all? No matter who or what rises up against you, God's TITLE TRUMPS every other. (Joshuah 10:1) God requires so much of us at times so that we can experience the unmatched EXHILERATION of partnering in divine TRIUMPH! (Pslam 47) Whether we are in it, or just coming out of it, or on our way there, we will have seasons where God is going to put His finger on our lives and say, "This time I am going to need every last ounce of you." So stand firm....and by the way...if we feel defeated, we have defeated ourselves. Do you know why? Because the enemy does NOT have permission to defeat us! GOD IS FOR US! Even in His chastisement of us, which, by the way, will NEVER be just for the sake of punishment, only to the degree that we are taught, so that we can be blessed.
Chew on that....
-cb

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas....my stomach hurts!

Getting a bit stressed at the idea of Christmas being less than 34 days away! I love the season and almost all that comes with it...not liking the stress part. I always wonder how we will manage and yet we get through every year, sometimes by the skin of our teeth...(i'm pretty sure teeth don't have skin...and if they do, you should have it removed)...anyway God will carry us through this season as He does every season of our lives. This evening, while driving home, I told Gracie I saw something red out of the corner of my eye...she was looking all over for Rudolph! I love that part of Christmas...that and the decorations which I have 17 boxes of, which are labled and numbered for the order and week they come out and my friend recently told me that was "freakish"....can you believe that? Anyway, like it or not, Christmas is coming, I just hope we will all remember the reason for this season and take the time to point our wee ones to the manger under the star, that changed our lives forever!

Counting my Blessings

It's a chilly evening, and I can hear my husband and 14 year old son watching the hockey , while our littlest one is tucked snuggly in his bed. Our 4 year old is gone for a sleep over at her cousin's house and our 17 year old is out at the movies with friends. Of course our 2 oldest live on their own.
I was thinking how nice it is knowing where your kids are and that they are safe. But how awesome it is to know they are walking in the light of the truth.
My parents always sign every card with the verse 3 John 1:4 " I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my children are living their lives in the truth." What a blessing it would be to know that was true. Unfortunately, that is not the case with our 2 oldest and although it breaks my heart, I must cling to the other verse, Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." That is the promise I am clinging to. I know I taught them and led to the Lord. I know He has a calling on their lives and that their decisions at very tender ages, to give their lives and heart to Him were not ignorant decisions. I know they know the truth. And one day they will come home.
At the same time, I am afraid of what I may have missed and am praying that I don't repeat mistakes or poor parenting witht the ones who are still home and the ones who are the most trainable now.
That is why I am counting my blessings....first of all so I don't go crazy and then so I remember and keep the eternal perspective.
I am blessed to live in a country where we are free to worship
I am blessed to have the heritage of Christian parents who pray for children daily
I am blessed to have faithful praying friends...not many of them...but faithful for sure
I am blessed to be raising these children with a man so full of the Spirit and so gifted with wisdom and discernment and patience, who loves and adores me so much that I am filled to overflowing and so our children are showered.
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed

Just Wondering

I am just wondering if I am the only one who feels like a huge failure 98% of the time...I feel guilty even writing those words but they are true for me. I feel like I am doing way too much and NONE of it Well. I am overwhelmed with my failures and guilt. Yet I have these children who most people seem to like...must be their father's influence. oh well...I'm not even very good at blogging!!!

I'm a Grammy

Can't believe it! I am a Grandmother! Little Kathryn Rose was born on October 4th at 2:44 am. Weighing exactly 5 pounds. She looks exactly like her mother, my daughter did when she was born 23 years ago. Man I am getting old! Now little Gracie and Noah are and Aunt and uncle at 4 & 2. Yikes! Terry & I are now Poppy & Grammy. I had the privelege of being present for the birth and marveled yet again at the miracle of life. How can anyone question if there is a God or if He is gracious. These precious little lives he places in our hands are proof that he is gracious. I am not sure the reality of it has sunken in yet...but I am very pleased to say that she is healthy and thriving. They said she would need help breathing! She came out kicking and screaming! Now there are five generations of us all female, first born daughters. My Nana (81), my Mom(63), Me (41), My daugher (23) and my Grand daughter (1week). I have been overwhelmed by the amazing love and support shown to them and to us in turn. Must go and rest now...will write more soon.
~Still Amazed by His Grace~